How do I know that I’m making the best decision for Jackie?
When do I know that it may be time to say good bye?
What if I am wrong?
These are some of the questions that are on my mind. There are many more questions that go around and around in my mind .. What If? Is the biggest question of all.
Jackie is my best friend. Jackie is the love of my life. Jackie has been with me through the good times and the really hard times. Now I have to be the one there for her. I have to be the one to make the hard decision of whether she joins all the other great dogs in that field of grassy meadows and warm lakes to jump in. So how do I do that?
Our vet Dr. Susie guides me in thinking about how Jackie is doing. Look into her eyes and what are they trying to tell you? Remember all the things Jackie used to do, does she still do them? As I write this post which has to be the hardest of all, I begin to reminisce on Jackie and the 14 years we have been together.
I sit with Jackie and think about all the adventures we have been on. We lived in many places. Had many people come and go in our lives. We endured hardships, broken hearts, but we also loved to be out on a hike. On the hikes she would chase anything that moved, but her favorite was finding the mot stinky rotting thing she could roll in. She loved catching balls and asked me to throw balls around for endless hours. She loved the water and the countless hours diving after a stick off the dock. The wind in her ears as we were driving in the boat. I remember when she would greet each visitor at the door with a big bark of hello and bring a furry toy (or slipper) to say hello and welcome to our home. She was our welcoming ambassador. However over the last year things have been slowing down. She no longer wanted to go swimming. Long walks are too much for her. She used to bark and tell me the post man was here. Her ears may perk up slightly now but no bark. She hasn’t greeted our visitors with her usual bouncy self. I look at her and she looks away. Things are not like they used to be. She can hardly get up and move now. Is she telling me she’s tired? Jackie is not like a regular dog, she has an old soul in her. It’s as if there is a little person in that dog’s body and that little person is tired.
Soon I’m going to have to say good bye to this great dog. I can’t tell myself or Jackie when, but I know in my heart that it will be very soon.
For now I sit with Jackie and spend as much time as I can with her.
For my Jackie one of the true loves of my life!
In memory of Jackie
Many of you know now that Jackie passed away on February 20th of her own accord. I truly miss my best friend, but know she is somewhere over the rainbow playing in fields of green, swimming in a large cool lake and hanging out with her friends on a big dock watching the boats go by.
Remembering my Jackie a proud strong dog that left an impression on everyone she met. We were very lucky to have you. March 22, 2001 to February 20, 2015